The skull bone's connected to the...WTF?!!!

So I had a patient today, very tragic, young man with a head trauma.  He already has logged 3 weeks in the hospital with no end in sight.  It was however, the coolest thing I've seen so far.  They had to remove a large piece of his skull, I'd say about 6 inches by 3 inches, to do surgery and allow the brain room to swell without doing further damage.  We need our skulls though, if you haven't heard they're kind of a big deal.  So while they wait for the swelling to go down enough that they can replace the piece, what do you do with it?  Freeze it, put it in some sort of preservative?  Newp... That puppy is right there in his abdomen.  Apparently the blood flow there is sufficient to keep it nice and healthy for a couple of months, and there's none of that annoying freezer burn.  Now I just need to use this to convince Denise that the best place for all of the steaks in our freezer is in mah belly!

This whole procedure is something that wasn't possible even 10 years ago, but now may very well be responsible for saving this young mans life.  This is why I'm going into nursing.

Teenagers I don't hate

As I've mentioned on more than one occasion I hate teenagers.  I've hated them ever since I was one.  They're arrogant, rude, lazy, and smell bad.

Since going back to school I've been surrounded by the little bastards.  More times than I care to remember they've proven me right.  I've had disastrous group projects because they can't take a couple hours to do their part.  I've heard all of the rediculous boyfriend/girlfriend drama.  I've seen petty abusive pranks and insults that are rivaled only by what my friends and I do to each other.  The difference is these kids do it because they're idiot teens that don't know any better, my friends and I do it because we're adults and we do whatever the hell we want damnit!

I am however much more tolerant than I expected.  For the most part they are actually quite amusing, usually when they're trying not to be but whatever.  All of the stupidity that used to drive me crazy is mostly just harmless fun, or genuine stupidity that is still mostly harmless.

I have accidentally become quite fond of a few of the young people though.  My nephew isn't too bad, but that's mostly because I beat the stupid out of him.  It's always a great time when we get to do something though, he can be fun without being a little disrespectful careless douche, unlike most boys his age.

There's a girl in one of my classes, Bre, who is exactly what I want my daughter to be like if I ever have one.  She's funny, intelligent, innocent, and gullible enough to provide me with an endless source of laughter.

Another girl from school, Steph, isn't a teenager but close enough.  She usually acts older (except when it comes to guys, then she's pretty much full retard), and has been my lunch partner most of the semester.  We have a very similar sense of humor so we pick on the kids a lot.

And then there's my step-wifes daughter, Cait.  I like her because she knows that a woman's place is making me a sammich, she understands that Jesus loves Tim Tebow more than He loves Aaron Rodgers, and she has enough damn sense to know when I'm joking, unlike any of you that took the sammich comment seriously.

Really, if that made you mad then you are obviously a woman, and you should be making me a sammich right now instead of reading this.  That's just science.

Walking in Memphis

Last weekend I went to Memphis to visit the sis in law.  With finals approaching and the new job it probably wasn't the best use of time, but it was a nice break.  It sucks that the trip was so short, we spent more time driving than doing anything else, but we were busy at home, they had stuff to do, so even if we had stayed a week we probably wouldn't have seen much more of them.

I really do love that town though.  I know Kansas City still has a reputation as a cow town, but when you compare the two KC has become a commercialized yuppie haven.  Everything here is part of a big label.  Every single shopping district has the same stores, same restaraunts, and same people shopping at them.  Memphis isn't too much smaller than us, but they still have that hometown feel.  Chain stores are the exception, not the rule.  The town itself, while it might be a little older and dirtier, has a feel of history.  It's very charming in it's own way, just like me.  And by that I mean no one there likes you, but they'll gladly sit down and eat some bbq and get drunk with you.

I fully expect to end up there once I'm done with school.  Denise and I both like the city, the weather is slightly better, and it'll give D a chance to live near more of her family.  We have more than enough to worry about right now so it's not anything that we're actively planning, but I still think it's gonna happen.  Inspired by my recent visit, (and blatantly stealing an idea from Chris Zeigler), I'm gonna work on a new recipe.  I don't usually do desserts but his idea for a Dead Elvis intrigues me.  So coming soon,  peanut butter banana chocolate cheese cake.  nomnom

My new daughter.

I was informed that I am adopting a beautiful bouncing baby girl.  A 19 year old baby girl.  And I know I'm adopting her because she told me.  

I had to do a one on one with her at work because she was a fall risk.  She is recovering from a long illness and her body isn't always strong enough, but she likes to get up on her own like any teenager would, so she needs constant help.  It was the single best day of work I've ever had.

The girl was hilarious, and her recovery really had her spirits up.  She knew why I had to be there to watch over her, and she was ok with it unlike a lot of patients.  Really she enjoyed the company.  She had also figured out the exact wrong things to say to the nurses for her own amusement.  

Nurse: "How are you today?"

Daughter: "Oh, feeling a little suicidal...       nevermind, I just had to burp."

A comment like that, even in jest drives the nurses nuts.  They have to document it, if it keeps up they have to order a psych eval, and it generally just worries the hell out of them.  Which is exactly why she was doing it.  So I spent all day hanging out with her, watching tv, and comparing practical jokes.  At the end of the day she informed me that I was adopting her over Christmas break. 

Right now the plan is to send Denise to Memphis to visit her sister, have the new daughter move in, and when D gets back just pretend like she's been living here the whole time.  

So far at work they have thrown me right in to some heavy patient loads, lots of work, lots of running around. A day like this though completely wipes out all of those.  

I ain't got time to bleed.

With the end of the semester at hand, and the new job, holy shit am I busy.  Of course every teacher is piling on the end of semester research projects, presentations, papers, and asking you to babysit their 9 year old bratty kid just in case you had any time left.  The job is also piling on the hours, with 50 hours scheduled my first week.  Fortunately I had spent a lot of time getting ahead in my classes while I wasn't working, gonna be interesting to see how this works out next semester.

So far Denise and I have had a bit of a competition to see who could keep straight A's the longest.  It's horrible but I need her to get a B soon, I think I'm good for this semester but who knows about next.  I do have an advantage because she gets a grade every 6 weeks where mine hold off until the end of the semester.

So far I'm really loving the job.  I know I made the right choice in changing careers.  Sure it's all new and exciting to me, but still it doesn't even feel like I'm at work.  I never once had a single day like that in construction, no matter how much I liked whatever project I was on.  I can't completely describe it, I just know I'm where I'm supposed to be.

The race is on...

To see how quickly I can make new friends at my job.  I spent 24 of the last 48 hours on the floor for the first time, and I'm loving it.  The patients and families are all amazing, and almost all of the staff made a wonderful first impression.  Of course, there was the 1%.

On only my second day I managed to get someone mad at me.  That may sound really soon, but for those that know me I was probably a day and a half behind schedule.  The lady in charge of training me is an exceptional worker that doesn't try to get by with the bare minimum on anything.  We didn't take all of our breaks, we helped other people as needed, and used every minute of our day to get the job done.  A couple of people we were working with however did not share this approach.  As I was running around trying to keep up with my trainer I was stopped by another employee with my same job, and he told me to slow down, we don't have to work that hard.  This isn't my first time dealing with his type, so my contempt for him didn't take long to surface.  I tried to avoid a confrontation by explaining that we had a few things to get done and still had to clean up three people and get their beds changed, so we were a little behind.  He told me he can clean a patient and change their bed (with them in it) in three minutes.  I told him that's great, but I can do it right.  I don't expect to be getting a Christmas card from him.

The majority of my new coworkers though were amazing.  With the job and the environment they provided combined it didn't take long at all to affirm my decision to change careers.  They were all hard working, responsible for their own actions, and willing to help when you needed a hand.  Hell, I was asked if I needed help more in two days than in the four years I spent in the bricklayers union.  After a day off in school I'm really looking forward to going back tomorrow, just hope I can balance all of these hours.

Say hello to the new boss

Yesterday was officially my first day in my new career.  There were parades, dancing babies, an aerial show, the Chinese national ping pong team, rainbows, and unicorn fights to commemorate the occasion.  Unfortunately I missed it all because I was sitting in a tiny classroom doing orientation.  Today was much of the same, but was a little harder to sit through.  The part of the orientation that applied to me was over after about an hour, and the rest was directed at the new nurses.  I paid attention, hell if I can glean any useful information out of it then bonus.  The only problem was most of it was filled with jargon and abbreviations that I didn't know, so it was difficult to pull much out of it all.

On the plus side, I got a chance to talk to my new boss for the first time since the interview.  I think she's going to be a really good boss, and I'm looking forward to working with her.  She wants the job to be fun and exciting, and she values education.  This will be great for me because my primary goal for this job is to supplement my education.  I can use any downtime I have to study treatments and procedures within the hospitals system, and I can take many of the continuing education classes that are designed for RNs to get a jump start.  These along with the experience and exposure to the job will be worth much more than the pay.

Yesterday was also the first time that I really got a taste of the bricks to bandaids.  Sure I've dealt with some people's reactions, but less than 5 minutes into orientation I could already see huge differences in the industries.  I'm not talking about patient care to building, or any of the extremely obvious stuff, but about the employer/employee relationship.  The orientation opened with the heads of every major department in the hospital saying hi.  Everything they said to us was about the hospital family, and how important we were to them.  They told us about a breakfast they host after we have been working there 90 days to hear our opinions and feelings about the job and the facility.  We do this again after 6 months.  As a bricklayer, I met my bosses a total of 4 times between both of them over a period of 4 years.  Two of them were one sentence conversations, the other two were the typical negative jokes you hear on a construction site.  Neither of those bosses were even at an equivalent level as the ones I met yesterday.  I know it's probably just for show, and they likely don't give a damn about my opinions, but it does say something that they go through the effort of showing up.

The other stark contrast is the lunch after 6 months of employment.  They chose the 6 month mark because they feel at that point you're settling into your job and comfortable enough to open up about what you've seen.  As a brick layer at 6 months you were wondering which day you were going to get your layoff check.  The hospital has a goal for employee retention.  They want it, they work for it, they understand that if you're good to your employees they'll be good to you.  This concept was completely missing in the union.  You didn't keep your job by being good, you kept it because you had some hunting land one of the foremen liked.  They didn't  educate and train employees with long term goals in mind, they used you to fill a gap.  I know ultimately that any job will only keep you around if they need you, but the long range planning of the hospital is an unbelievable change from the short sightedness displayed by the union companies I worked for.

So far, nothing but good changes that I can see.

10 things I hate about you.

After my last post I was accused of being up on a soap box.  Well...I liked the view from up there so here I go again.  Last night a friend and I were baiting people on facebook with some political stuff, just for giggles.  He's a liberal communist fag, I'm a conservative fascist douchebag, it's pretty much a match made in heaven.  The truth of it is we're both pretty moderate, he leans to the left, I lean to the right, but both of us prefer common sense and reason to political talk show silliness.  So last night I was actually arguing in favor of the liberal side, not because I believed it, but because the people arguing the conservative side were using nothing but media lines, name calling, and unrealistic views about what the president can accomplish.  So in honor of those people, here is a list of people I hate :)

1.  Republicans.  Not all of them, because I'm obviously pretty awesome.  No I hate the republicans that denounce democrats and everything they do just because they're democrats and they do stuff.  They have no logic, no reason, or rely on completely misplaced anger.  On a personal level I don't like Obama because he seems to be incredibly mediocre.  He didn't start the war in Iraq, he didn't start the recession, he didn't kick your dog and steal all your toilet paper.  He also hasn't ended the recession, well he did officially but not in reality.  He hasn't ended the war in Iraq.  He doesn't walk my dogs for me and he won't share his presidential 73 ply toilet paper.  Now a lot of this isn't his fault, congress has road blocked much of what he tries.  Would any of his plans work? Who knows.  I would like to see him get more passionate about it though.

2.  Democrats.  Again, not all of them, but there are tons and tons of rich democrats that are guilty of the exact same money hording and refusal to hire as the rich republicans.  That little D next to your name doesn't make you one of the regular people.  IF democrats believe that businesses and rich people have a social responsibility to hire and help this recovery, then they can do it.  Even if republican controlled money stayed sidelined if all of the democrat controlled money was in play it would make a huge impact.  On top of that, the conservatives would be forced to put their money in play or risk falling behind in business.

3.  Independents.  Just...choose a side.  Yeah I'm probably an independent when it comes down to it, but I get sick of the ones that only choose a side based on who's winning a particular argument.  They manage to never be wrong by not taking a stand until after the fight.  Grow a pair.

4.  Stupid teenagers.  I covered this in my last post so I won't take up space here.

5.  Smart teenagers.  You're not that smart.

6.  People that complain about a problem they helped cause.  This can be on any scale.  I'm cold, well maybe you should have brought a jacket like I told you or put down the 72 ounce ice cold coke.  Or on a bigger scale, and this has parts of two separate conversations I had with the same person, I'm still waiting for him to connect the dots.
  Dumdum: "All these people need to stop complaining about unemployment and go get jobs."
  Me:  "Most of them agree with you.  Sure there are a lot that are just abusing the system but most WANT to be working.  Look at me, I've been a construction worker my whole life and now there is simply no work to be found."
  Dumdum: "You should come check out my new house.  I never would have been able to afford something this big if it wasn't for illegal immigrants."

And here comes the giant facepalm.  Obviously there are a lot of variations, but a typical house has enough man hours to keep a person working for close to 2 years.  So this guy complaining about people being unemployed is directly responsible for one person being out of work for 2 years.  When I tried to explain it to him I just got the blank stare of doom.

7.  Bad drivers.  We've all seen the texters, the eaters, the makeup appliers, and no one likes them.  To truly earn hate you have to be extra stupid though.  I'm talking about the woman I saw driving down 435 reading a book.  Not glancing at it, or checking out the cover, but actually propped up on the steering wheel turning pages while she drove across 3 lanes of traffic.  If you're smart enough to read, you should be smart enough to know this is a bad idea.  I'm also talking about the person who stops in the middle of the highway because they missed their exit.  Guess what bud, cars behind you going 70 and you going 0 don't mix.  Keep driving, there's another exit in 2 miles where you can turn around.

8.  Self righteous "religious" people that ignore large chunks of scripture.  Usually these are the people screaming about sexual morality.  No abortions, no sex out of marriage, no homosexuals, and often times they use arguments that are found no where in the Bible.  They've been added in later by other religious figures, or the meanings of the scripture are open for debate, it doesn't matter you're going to burn in hell.  Point out to them that usery is a sin equal to sodomy?  I'm going to hell because I'm defending gay people.  Highlight scripture that speaks out against greed or excessive wealth?  I'm just trying to draw attention away from my whoring ways.  Point at the 9 year old boy duct taped in their closet?  Well, he was practically begging for it.

9.  Fred Phelps.  He's the only one that actually gets named here.  I could put him with the group above but he's a special kind of stupid.  I've been banned from his website under a few different names just for pointing out holes in their reasoning.  Without listing every questionable thing they say the basic idea they have about our troops dying out of punishment is, several years ago some idiot threw a pipe bomb in the street near one of the WBC member's house.  It did a little damage to a car, think a couple paintings fell off the wall, I'm sure it was a terrible experience.  They automatically jumped to the conclusion that someone was trying to kill them.  It's possible, but the explosion happened in the street, not in their house.  They really had nothing else to go on, but this was enough.  So they tie that in to troops dying saying that God is using the Improvised Explosive Devices like the one they were attacked with to punish our troops.  The tie in to gays is tenuous at best.  I simply asked if God was using IED's as punishment, how do they know the one He used against them wasn't as a punishment for being hateful and judgemental to their fellow man.  I was banned that day.

10.  You.  Thanks to the people I argued politics with last night I realize I don't even need a reason for this.  In fact, I think I will quote one of them, only replacing whatever slur he used for Obama's name with the word you.  "Who needs to post proof on here when everyone knows YOU suck giant donkey...."

It doesn't have to be this hard

School is going great so far.  Well, except for my magical disappearing scholarship that I still haven't gotten straightened out.  Classes though, are going great.  I really enjoy all of my teachers, and I find every single class interesting.  I'm also kicking the crap out of them.  3 of the classes I'm near 100%, and the other is lower but still an A.  The lower grade, biology, is down for ridiculous reasons though.  And despite the ease I see in all of these classes I also see a lot of kids struggling with them for no reason.

As for biology, I'm limping along by just barely getting A's on all of the tests and quizzes so far.  If it was just a difficult class, or an extreme amount of materiel that was causing this I'd be ok with it.  But it's not.  The quizzes and tests are littered with questions that the teacher admitted to me are intentionally worded to lead people to the wrong answer.  On top of this he will put at least two answers that are virtually identical to further mislead people.  Other answers will be littered with abbreviations, looking more like a collection of random refrigerator magnets than a test.
Something like this:

A. ATP, NAD, AT, FADH
B. ATP, NADH, CG, FAD
C. ADP, NADH, CG, FAD
C. ATP, NADH, CG, FADH

Answer choices like that coupled with misleading questions are just setting people up for failure.  If that wasn't enough, he also throws in a few questions that aren't in the assigned readings, study guides, or lecture notes.  On one hand I get this, he wants the difference between an A and B to mean something.  So you do some extra reading, make sure you hit the captions and highlighted sections of the chapter, easy right?  Not so fast.  His order of teaching has us bouncing around the book like it's an Addam's Family pinball machine.  Two pages in chapter one, eight in chapter 12, a diagram in chapter three,  even if you wanted to do the extra reading you wouldn't know where to begin.  As it stands, you can study for a B, an A takes some good guessing.  This is completely the teachers fault, and it should be obvious to him when the crown of his bell curve is centered somewhere around 55%.

Now to the idiot teenagers.  I hate them.  I hated teenagers when I was one, which is why I didn't have many friends, and I hate them now.  Every day I hear someone complain about their grade, they're gonna lose a scholarship, get kicked off the team, get kicked out of school, get their ass beat by mom and dad, whatever.  Then they will proceed to sit there and talk about nothing for two hours between classes instead of studying or reading.  The teachers really aren't asking much of people.  And I know all about blowing stuff off, hell I faked my way to an electronics engineering degree right out of highschool.  The difference is, I knew it was my fault.  Most of these kids don't put in even a little bit of effort, then act completely surprised when they get crappy results.  I even heard one say that as much as his parents are paying for the school they should give him the grade.  I just want to slap the hell out of some of these kids.  Try a little,  I watch you sit here for at least four hours a week doing nothing while I'm reading, making note cards, writing papers, whatever I need to do.  Stop lying to yourselves, you have time.  What you don't have is the initiative.  I don't care if you pass or fail, I'm just sick of the bad excuses for their own laziness.

The Crazies

Well, bidness is bout to pick up.  Last week I got the license I needed to take the job I got a while back, and they held it for me.  I'm starting a month later than planned but whatever, at least I got it.  It's PRN so the hours will vary a lot, but I'm assuming it will be the end of free time for me.  Hell, if it isn't then I'm not getting enough hours and need to look for another job.  It's a float pool job, so getting adjusted may take a while, but some of the experiences I've already had volunteering in the ER really have me looking forward to it.

The vast majority of the patients in the ER are just normal people with normal problems.  Chronic and new illnesses, minor accidents, or a sick relative that they are sure is dying but really just has indigestion.  They are often scared, usually confused, and always extremely grateful.  This is the group that leaves you with that warm fuzzy feeling when they leave.  With this being the norm, it's easy to understand why most of the   nurses I know have such high job satisfaction.

On the other hand, you get the crazies.  Now, they aren't always separate from the normal group, they are often just as friendly and easy to work with.  The difference is the more extreme behavior and/or circumstances with which they come in.Some of the nurses dread these cases, like others, I thrive on them.  They are the most intriguing, exciting, and sometimes funniest cases you see.  I don't know why, but there seems to be one every night that stands out.

My first night was the kid who got high for the first time.  His parents were afraid he was dying, and the kid alternated between laughing at everything to freaking out.  All tests showed that he was fine, no toxins, he just needed a little time.  Truth be told, there were probably a half dozen other people in the ER that were just as high, but this relatively harmless hijinks made the evening.

On another night we had a patient who was very combative, especially with the female staff.  I have no clue what ended up being wrong with him, I just know at this time he was quite a handful.  After he threatened one of the female staffers I went over there, told her that I could watch him, and gave her a chance to get away.  He immediately threatened me, saying that if he wanted to leave he would go right through me, and if I tried to stop him he would get me fired.  I just answered, "sir, I'm a volunteer, I can't get fired".  A passing doctor stopped and affirmed it, saying "yeah, it doesn't matter what he does we can't fire him".  The man then quietly sat on the bed, folded his hands, and didn't say another word until security showed up to watch him.  Later on in the night I checked up on him and found out he was quite possibly the most passionate football fan alive, even if he didn't know what team he liked.

Couple weeks back was a little old lady who had emphysema.  She was cooky and funny, and I honestly can't say if she was completely with it or not.  She was either half nutty, or extremely clever and liked to mess with people.  I suspect the latter.  At one point I was talking to a medic as she was passing by in a wheelchair, I told the medic "this one put up a good fight."  To that she hit wheel lock on the chair, shocking the hell of the guy pushing her, stood up, put up her dukes, and started humming Eye of the Tiger.

I could understand if you lived with one of these people, or had to deal with the same person for the same problem on a daily basis that it would get old.  In the situation where you are only around one of them for a short time, I think it makes your day.  Even the combative angry guy who threatened me, but even he was very fun and lively in the end.  It certainly gives you something different to deal with, and you never know what's next.  I think it must be a good sign though, that the cases that push some away from the profession are the ones that are propelling my enthusiasm.

The anniversary post!

Obviously not for the blog, it's only been what, 3 months or so since I started this?    No, today marks two years since I joined my present to my future.  With all we've had to deal with in our young marriage I think you have to count them in dog years.  However, facing all the hardships that we have has done nothing but prove that I made the right decision.  Health issues, money issues, both of us going back to school, and me making a major career change, all things that could easily break a relationship.  For us though, it's really been pretty easy.  There's never been blame or complaints directed at each other, whenever one gets overwhelmed the other is always ready to step up.  The ability to walk through so much without our relationship taking any hits is amazing to me.  We're scheduled for a couple more tough years, at least until I finish school, but I'm not worried.  Sure there's gonna be plenty of problems and hard times getting there, but I'm happy knowing they won't effect how we see each other.

Two years ago, I gave my heart
To the woman I love, so we could start
To build a life, and a love so pure
That could see us through life's adventure.

Happier now than I ever thought I could be
Because you also gave your heart to me
Living now in serenity, and in peace
Thank you for choosing me, I love you Denise

Boom! Headshot!

As I was leaving school today I heard a pretty loud smack a few blocks away.  Looked up and saw it was a car wreck, but only one car.  I ran up there to see if there was anything I could do.  It was unintentional but the whole time I was running I started running the steps of CPR through my head, even though I've never done it.  When I got there a woman who was driving by had stopped as well, and I saw her crouching over a young boy of about 5 or 6.  Fortunately, she was a nurse.  I told her I was a CNA and asked what she needed help with, and she had me hold the boy still for a minute or two until he calmed down so he didn't move his neck.  Fortunately he didn't break any bones, had only minor scrapes, but likely had a concussion because he took a very hard blow to the head.  The car took his legs out from under him and his head hit on the hood.  He was a tough little dude, stopped crying very quickly, followed directions, and was able to answer questions.  The cops and medics were all super fast arriving, and we were only a couple miles from Children's Mercy South so hopefully everything ended up ok.

Now, there is no doubt the kid never should have been in the street.  That being said, I have very serious doubts about the drivers story.  She said she had just come over a hill and he was right there.  The speed limit there is only 35, and despite what she said about just coming over a hill the crest was at least 30 yards away.  I know that's not a lot, but at 35mph that's plenty of time to stop.  The other reason I doubt her story is because the collision happened dead center on her car.  With the distance and speed limit even if she wasn't able to stop she should have swerved at least some.  I also did not hear the brake screech until after I heard the impact.  I told all of this to the police, even though I didn't see the actual impact.  I think it's worth checking her cell phone records at the very least.  If she is lying then I hope really bad things happen to her.  I can't imagine hitting a kid and being more worried about my own ass.

The other problem I saw was crowd control.  Within just  a couple minutes a small crowd had already gathered, moving in closer and closer to the kid.  He's hurt, scared, and people need room to take care of him, the last thing he needs is a bunch of people standing over him gawking.  Since I wasn't needed anymore to help hold him I started pushing some of the people back so the medics would have a clear path.  One person thought it was appropriate to try and take a picture of this poor kids knot.  I blew the rare fuse at that.  I told him if he didn't put his *&^%$%^# camera up right now I was going to stick it up his ass.  I could just see the kids picture on the internet later tonight with a stupid caption under it.   Later on at the ER where I volunteer I saw one of the medics that heard me say it, he had a little fun with me over it but damn, did he laugh.

It was great to be able to get in and actually help, not just be another person in the way.  Really hope the little man is ok but there's no way for me to find out.  If nothing else, he'll be a hero the next few days in school.

one step forward and two steps back

Well...the law of averages says I'm getting ready to have a really really big streak of good luck.  Lately it seems no matter what I do, every time something good happens it's followed by something much worse.

Had major exams in every class last week, my lowest grade was a 90%...a little disappointing but whatever, pretty awesome overall.  Then I get a bill from the school, the scholarship I was promised still hasn't been applied so who knows how I'm going to get this paid for.

Finally got a job, did all the preliminary stuff, was supposed to start orientation Monday.  Got a call Thursday, and now they're requiring the Missouri license they knew I didn't have from the start.  Here's an idea, tell me to get it the first time we talk and I could have had it by now.  As it stands, by the time I'm able to get it the job might not be there.

I've been doing a little construction work on the side with my uncle.  He had a little extra work, I really needed the money, so even though the pay was horrible it wasn't a terrible arrangement.  Thursday I went to the job, and it wasn't ready.  The person bringing the materials still wasn't there 2 hours late.  My uncle had left town, and was calling me every 15 minutes to remind me how to do my job.  The last straw was he wanted me to go buy the materials to get started.  Normally this wouldn't be that big of a deal, but he still owes me money for working from 2 years ago.  It sucks but I just can't trust him to pay me back.  Between the annoying phone calls, the job not being ready, expecting me to spend money I don't have to get his job going when I'm barely getting paid as is, and the fact that he owed me money, I did something I've never done before.  I walked off the job.  Even after the fact I believe it was my only choice, but it does cut out the one form of income I had.

Just to add one more log to the fire, I got a letter from my homeowners insurance that they were going to cancel me if I didn't get some stuff fixed around the house.  The gutters were justified, they had some spots that had rusted through.  The other stuff was pretty nitpicky crap.  Most of it hadn't been fixed because I was just waiting for enough of a steady income to take care of it.  In the end we came up with the money to do it, and I spent 2 weeks, roofing, replacing gutters, siding, and painting.  Nothing too major but one more expense we didn't need.

Fortunately, I still have plenty of reasons to stay happy.  I have an amazing wife, some wonderful friends, and no matter how much bad happens we always seem to squeeze out enough good to keep our heads above water.  I'm ready for the turnaround though.

The holocaust poem...

A time of war mid century,

Hell brought to earth by Germany.

World War II raged throughout Europe,

Millions lost their lives, millions more lost hope.

For the Jewish people a generation lost

in the fires and flames of the holocaust.

Six million died by fire and gas

in unmarked graves, buried en masse

to cleanse the land of their foul disgrace

and fill Germany with the Aryan race.

“They're not human!” Hitler would exclaim,

not able to see the monster he became.

Stories abound of pain and how

murders were carried out from Auschwitz to Dachau.

Though no people have suffered so much before or since,

no people have either showed so much resilience.

So we don't forget though so many years have gone,

here is the story of Pawell and Yvonne.

In New York City in '93

on a summers day as clear as could be,

walking through central park you could find

Yvonne taking a walk trying to clear her mind.

Why it happened she couldn't say,

but her past came flooding back on this day.

Having a seat still in her trance

she sat next to a man who by chance

was lost in his own mind strong and fast,

living out the memories of his past.

Two strangers sat close, neither one could see

their lives were bound together by history.

All through the night Yvonne couldn't sleep

and the shadows of the past caused her to weep.

No stranger to pain, or cause for fears,

Pawell woke up to the sound of her tears.

He said ma'am I couldn't help but see

the sadness in your eyes could you use some company?

She said to bug a stranger isn't what I had planned,

there's nothing you can do. You won't understand.

Pawell said I was almost on my way,

but if I can be of help I'll gladly stay.

Suffering alone is no way to be,

and you won't find one better versed in misery.

Whatever it is that troubles you so

I've probably seen worse. You should know

for everything you tell, I'll tell you something about me

so let's sit and talk in the shade of this old tree.

Yvonne wiped her eyes and took a breath,

pushing back the shadows of fear and death.

So many years had passed since she left that land,

the thoughts of what had happened put a tremble in her hand.

She said I'll sit and tell you but you'll soon regret,

you have never heard of troubles like mine yet.

Living in France back before the war,

no one could have guessed what life had in store.

Citizens of France but Jewish still,

forced to flee our home against our will.

Father went to fight, grandma was sick.

I hid in a convent and became catholic.

When all was said and done we were reunited,

though my father's will was broken, mothers spirited quieted.

We went home to Paris but our home was occupied

so we crossed the Atlantic ocean to the other side.

These things all came back to me so I was distraught,

now as you see you've not known worse no matter what you thought.

Pawell is slow to anger but a chord was struck!

He said “Lady next to me you have been blessed with luck!”

You speak of pain and sadness but you will see,

compared to my life you were bathed in luxury.

Born and raised a REAL Jew that everybody mocks,

unlike your converted ass I remained orthodox.

I watched the German army coming down the roads.

They captured my birthplace in Poland, Lödz.

Surrounded with disgrace and discrimination

while you vacationed in France I suffered humiliation.

While you were forgetting what being Jewish means

I fed my family by fixing sewing machines.

This is not all, as the Good Lord knows,

my bar mitzvah cake was coffee and potatoes.

Your life was not so bad as you reported.

To this old Yvonne hotly retorted:

You've had it hard I won't deny,

but you didn't have it half as bad as I.

My father was a prisoner but escaped one day,

and came back to me and my sister Renée.

Our family back together living in Grenade-sur-Garronne

waiting till the day that the war was won.

Then without warning the Nazis came,

took my mother and with my father the same.

To reunite my family then break them up again

when it comes to counting losses you just won't win.

In wild disbelief says Pawell

I wish my life had gone so well.

In 1944 I moved to Auschwitz

while you lived easy in relative glitz.

Twice reunited with your parents you said,

I won't see mine 'til I'm cold and dead.

You talk of hardship living in a convent,

to the working side of prison camp is where I went.

To an outsider you and I may seem the same

but while you may have felt the heat I survived the flame.

I understand your hardships but you should rejoice

that is all you suffered. Then with a shaky voice,

now it's time to leave you in my pain.

I hope we never have the chance to meet again!

How can two that have suffered so much

find hate for each other and use pain as a crutch?

Suffered though they did through the Shoah,

they had no sympathy for each other or a

sense of a connection, or of pity,

for the journey each took in life to reach this city.

What can this story tell of the human condition,

but that we all see life from our own position.

Who was right and who was wrong I cannot say,

when the two came together on this summer day.

High school reunion

So the last couple weeks have been very busy, but for a change it's been mostly good stuff.  Still no word on my scholarships, but the school isn't crying for money yet so out of sight out of mind lol.  There appears to have been a slight miscommunication between a couple departments at the new job, but it looks like I'm gonna slip through.  I don't have the Missouri license they want, mine is for Kansas.  The interviewer knew this before we even scheduled the interview, and offered me the job anyways.  There was a bit of a hiccup with HR, I told them that I have sent a letter to Missouri requesting to challenge their test, no clue if they'll let me but it was good enough for the lady to overlook it.  If Missouri doesn't let me I just hope no one catches on for 6 months, because that was the experience requirement without the license.  Either way, I'm finally gonna get a few paychecks and something to stick on a resume, and some excellent experience.

Every week in the ER the nurses are giving me more and more to do.  It's nothing that a volunteer isn't allowed to do, but after only a few weeks I'm doing more than any other volunteer chooses or is asked to do.  The people in the volunteer department were worried that I was letting people take advantage of me until I explained that this is free experience and education for me.  I'm usually the one asking for more to do.  Hopefully I can get even more involved the next couple weeks and use it as a sort of pre-training for my job.

The other big news from last week was my 15 year high school reunion.  I never knew about the first two, and I never had many friends in high school so I probably wouldn't have gone anyways, but in my old age I've grown more outgoing and decided to hit this one.  The other reason I went is because I have been absolutely horrible about keeping in touch with people.  Maybe I can use this as a chance to turn that around.  Turns out...I'm a hell of a lot more popular now than I was then.  Most of my old group of friends didn't show, which didn't surprise me at all.  In fact, the bulk of the crowd was exactly who I expected, the popular crowd, cheerleaders, football players, blah blah.  The thing I didn't expect however was how many of them wanted to talk to me.  I spent 4 hours chatting with people I never said a word to in high school like we had been best friends.  Denise even commented on my popularity saying, "I thought you said you didn't talk to anyone in high school?".  The reasoning is obvious, in their tiny teenage minds they weren't able to fully grasp exactly how awesome I am.  Now that they've lived, experienced the miracles of birth and natural disasters, seen some of the most majestic places on earth, they can finally comprehend the magnitude of my aura.

Or they think I'm funny on facebook...whatever.

So the reunion was 4 hours of laughing, catching up, answering "so what have you been up to?" 47 times, and an obscene amount of whiskey.  The girls that did all the work did a bang up job, the food was excellent and the room was the perfect size.  There were also a LOT of people there that had always been great to me, even if we weren't in the same crowds.  I'm not going to list them all here, but I can pretty much say, if I spent more than 2 minutes talking to you, you are one of these people.

Even though most of my group didn't show up there were a couple there that were the most important people to me back then.  A kid that grew up just up the street from me, Karl,we were always both on the fringe of the popular crowds, we fought a lot, but for the most part we always got along.  Angela, who was always as nice as anyone could possibly be to me.  We went to middle school and high school together, and she was one of the few that never cared what clique you belonged to, if you were her friend that's all that mattered.  Then there was Sara and Sarah.  They were best friends back then, might still be, and the three of us spent countless hours just driving around the back roads singing at the top of our lungs.  Sara lives in Texas now, so this is only the second time I've seen her in the last 12 years.  It was amazing to me that despite not seeing her for long there was no awkwardness.  It was as if we talked every day.  The next day she had to go back to Texas, and I'm not moving there any time soon, so it will likely be a few more years before I get to see her again, but it was wonderful walking away from the reunion knowing that I still had this amazing unconditional friend, no matter how much time or space separates us.

You talkin' to me?

Well, not a bad week all in all.  Running near 100% in all of my classes but one, and that's still an A, high school reunion coming up tonight, and I finally picked up a job.  The pay is horrible but it's the ideal educational situation, PRN so I can work around school, and float pool which means I'll bounce around a lot and get to see how everything works in about every department.  One question in the interview caught me off guard, it's one I've heard before, but never expected in this setting.  "What makes a person like you want to become a nurse?"  This goes hand in hand with the more common statement when someone I've just met asks what I do and I tell them I'm in school to be a nurse, "you don't look like a nurse."

I usually kind of laugh when I hear a question like this, or use it as a chance to mess with the person and respond "what do you mean a person like me?...what kind of person am I?"  Which is usually followed with an uncomfortable silence and me chuckling to myself.  I do understand what most people mean though.  I'm big, ugly, and hell, I look like a bricklayer.  I also say just about anything that ever comes to mind, and being raised on a construction site that's not always pretty.  They are also all wrong when they think it's not a good fit.  I've always taken the harder part of the job, always stay after so someone isn't stuck working alone, or stayed to help with a flat tire, dead battery, whatever it is.  Most of the people that question my ability to help others call me at the drop of a hat when they need something.  They all know that I'm honest, trustworthy, and willing to help people, they just can't seem to fit it in the right context.

Now the people that have doubts based on the things that they've heard me say...yeah ok I get it.  I say some horrific things.  It's all in jest though, and it's almost never used to actually attack someone.  If it is used against someone, they have it coming.

Most of my friends and family fall into 3 broad groups.  First is the "you're doing what?" group.  They are the ones that just can't imagine it.  They are also the group that doesn't know me very well as a whole.  This group is shrinking as time goes by and they see Denise and I cope with some of her problems.  They might have been there when I told her if she didn't stop mouthing me I was going to chase her down with a strobe light, but more and more they're also seeing me when she isn't feeling at her best and how quickly I change from joker to protector.

The next group is, "That's smart.  You'll make so much money".  Coming from a construction family that was really hammered by this recession this view makes sense.  It's wrong, but it makes sense.  Without a doubt it will be a more stable income.  After a few years of experience it will be slightly more money per year as well. By the time I'm done with school though, the recession will likely be over or at least no where near what it is now.  Sure I'll be somewhat protected against future recessions if they happen, but it would be pretty damn silly to change to a profession you don't like just in case we had a few more bad years sometime in the next couple decades.  It seems to me that most of the people in this group tend to project themselves into my situation, and relate to the part that would benefit them the most.

The last group includes everyone I talked about in my last post, plus a handful of others.  They tend to look past all of the peripheral bonuses like the stability and extra pay, and see that I'm doing it because I will enjoy it and have the potential to be successful at it.  Granted, this group knows me mostly by being around Denise and I together.  They aren't my float trip group, or my gamer group, or my construction group.  With those other groups about the most devastating problem we've ever faced together is deciding who has to go refill the cooler.  The people that back me 100% in this have seen me when something is really going wrong.

One funny thing I find among all the groups is how departmentalized our lives become.  I'm about as open of a person as you can ever find.  I don't embarrass easily, I don't get worked up about little things, and if you ask me a question be careful, because I'll probably tell you more than you really want to know.  Even so, groups that I hang out with in different settings all have very different perceptions of who I am.  I guess it's no wonder that I can divide their responses so neatly between those groups as well.

I am a rock, I am an IIIIIIIIIIsland!

Well I'm not...but the people I'm talking about today are.  Not that I've never been compared to a rock...rocks in my head, dumb as a rock, between a rock and a hard place, and hard as....oh never mind.   In my younger days I was an island.  Kept to myself, not a lot of friends, and there was nothing I couldn't do.  I didn't rely on anyone for anything because I could do it better, faster, and I wouldn't owe anyone.  All of that was before the world decided to use my face for a speed bag.  Now that I'm getting old and gray I've learned that not only can I not do everything myself...there's not much of anything I do without help.

With all of this change in my life now it's easy for me to see who and where all of this help is coming from.  While my family has mostly been supportive, they really aren't in any position to help with much.  It's nobodies fault, and I didn't want to write this and make it look like I was ignoring them.

Of course, there's all of the little things available that I never bothered to use the first time around.  Academic advisers, councilors, teachers, and other students.  The first time through school I didn't bother with any of these, I just lowered my shoulder and plowed through.  This time I'm taking advantage of all of these resources and it's showing in my grades.  Several friends have also proven very helpful already, and a couple are even keeping me posted on job openings where they work even though we've rarely seen each other since high school.  I've also had every professor happily agree to be used as a reference for my job search.  As useful as all of these things are though, there has been 3 that have stood above all others.

First and foremost, Denise.  Bet you didn't see this coming...  Really there is no end to how vital she has been in this change.  During the time we spent deciding she would talk over the pros and cons with me, listen to me babble as my mind went back and forth, and spent a lot of time going to schools with me to select the right one.  Until I find a job she is solely supporting us, and getting her masters to boot.  She can help with my homework, lend her experience to my decisions and paths I choose, and who knows, in the end it may be her contacts that land me a job.  Her patience and understanding while I'm looking for a job have been nothing short of divine.  I'm ready to get back to work anywhere, just to get a little cash flowing, but she is the one making sure I find the right job, not just a job.  I know many people that go back to school have spouses that are unsupportive or indifferent, and I can only imagine how hard something like this could be in that environment.  Without her I know this wouldn't be possible.  I love you Denise!

Denise's parents have also done more than their fair share to make this happen.  Before I even started school they helped us out with some money, we had gotten about half paid back when I got the opportunity to start school 6 months before we had planned.  To do it though I had to quit working and commit to spending a lot of money on school.  Before we did anything we went and talked to them, and they said to go for it.  Besides the money they've been hugely supportive and constantly remind me why I'm doing this.

The last one is Denise's best friend Jen...come to think of it without Denise I'm pretty much screwed in every way.  I say that Jen is Denise's best friend, but the truth is over the last couple years she's become one of my best friends too.  Sure most people just kind of tolerate their wife's friends, but she's always there for me like we've known each other for life.  While a lot of my friends and family joke about me becoming a nurse, or don't believe I'm really doing it, Jen is right there to counter anything they ever say.  At every chance she's not only telling me that I'll be great at it, but why I'll be great at it.  A lot of times it's the same stuff Denise says, but Denise is supposed to say it.  Having another nurse tell you exactly what about you makes you qualified for the job while most people are telling you why they think you're not has been wonderful.  Love you too Jennypoo!

If I ever manage to get back on track and regain the swagger I had in my youth, and it's propped up with this support I have now, I'm gonna get a little payback on the world.  HEAR THAT WORLD?!  You might have knocked me down and stole my ball, but I'm coming back, and I'm bringing friends.

Mango Pineapple Chicken

Well, as of right now school is very pedestrian.  It's gonna be an easy semester so I don't anticipate having too much to write about on that front.  I have a job interview Friday, so maybe I'll have some good news to write about then.  Home life has been unusually quiet and peaceful, so what's a blogger to do.

Make some more delicious food of course.




This one is a super easy fix for those of you with a sweet tooth.

The Sauce:
1 cup of mango
1/2 cup pineapple
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
1 Table spoon of sugar
pinch of mint

Add everything in a sauce pan together, bring it to a boil, then reduce the heat and let it simmer while you do the rest.

The vegetable:

I went with broccoli for the color variation, and to bring something a little salty and bitter to an extremely sweet plate of food.

brush it with a coat of olive oil, then sprinkle on a generous amount of garlic and sea salt.  (you want the crunch from the bigger salt)

toss it in a 450 degree oven on a cookie sheet.   I only go for about 12-15 minutes here, gets a nice cooked flavor on the outside, but the inside is still very fresh.  You can easily go longer if you like your vegetables overcooked.

The Starch:

2 cups of white rice...I'm usually a brown rice fan but I don't think it would work as well for this.  I use a rice cooker but whatever you do to cook rice will work, once it's done add in 2 heaping spoonfuls of orange marmalade, and about half the juice from a can of mandarin oranges.  Stir it all together really well, the extra liquid should help keep it from sticking, then top with orange slices.  a basil or mint leaf garnish makes a pretty picture.

The protein:
Super easy.  A light rub of salt, pepper, thyme, and rosemary, on a chicken breast then cooked in your favorite method.  I grilled mine...but I grill everything.  Baked would be just fine, and I actually think pan seared with a little butter might be better than grilled.

When the chicken is done plate it up, drop a dose of the sauce on top, and go to town.

Doctor Doctor give me the news

Tonight was my first night volunteering at St Joseph Medical Center, in the emergency department.  It was actually a lot more fun than I expected, and I got to do things I never anticipated.

At first, things went exactly as planned.  I checked the supplies in empty rooms, filled what needed it, went to the stock room and prepped some blood tube packets and a few other small things.  The problem was, 30 minutes in I had already finished what was supposed to last 4 hours.

The volunteer that trained me last week had told me that the nurses generally ignore the volunteers, but I decided not to let that happen.  I started talking to them, made sure I caught their names off their badges so I could call them by their name instead of hey you in the green, explained I was a nursing student and told them if they needed help please ask, I would appreciate the chance to learn.  About that time a tech came in, and just happened to be the guy that taught me CPR.  That little bit of an outside connection, along with being forward with the nurses paid off in the first night.

It didn't take long at all and a few of the nurses were asking me to do things.  Granted nothing important, but I was moving patients from the ER to other departments, taking people out to their cars to go home, being mostly useful.  I got to watch a doctor remove a do it yourself eyebrow piercing.  Talked a psych patient down enough they took the restraints off his arms as long as he behaved.  Helped hook up a few monitors, and even got to help put a cast on.

The 2 most interesting events of the evening were the teenage kid that got high for the first time, that went through bouts of paranoia and laughter.  His parents thought he was probably going to die of an overdose.  I also brought a lady a drink, and she started talking, stopped mid sentence for a bit, then started back up again.  Pretty soon i heard water hitting the floor....Hey you in the green, I'm just a volunteer you better come clean this up.

The thing I was most worried about going in was walking into peoples rooms.  We're always taught when someone is sick you leave them alone so they can rest, and above all else respect others privacy especially when they're so vulnerable.  So to me, it was very counter-intuitive to walk into a room and ask if I could get anything for them.  Even though I didn't have to, I forced myself to do this a few times.  I need to get used to it.  As a result, I got to help a few people, and meet some very gracious family members.  I also answered a few call lights, again not really in the scope of a volunteer but what the hell, if all they need is a drink or help adjusting in the bed, I can do that.  If it was something more important I would go find a nurse.

All in all it was a very good night, and I think will be great experience for me going forward.  Plus after I broke the ice I got to start getting to know some amazing people in the nursing staff, which is great because I need more people at my bbq's.

Back to school!

After my unbelievably long and boring 5 day summer vacation I hit my first day of classes at Avila yesterday.  Overall, looks like I'm going to have a really easy semester.  Ethics, Literature, Judaism, and Biology.  Now if I could just catch a break on the job search I'll be in great shape.

First class of the morning is ethics.  As long as you show up and turn stuff in, you're pretty much guaranteed and A.  It's very much a discussion based class about whatever hot topics the teacher wants to discuss.  Gun control, death penalty, abortion, pretty much anything is on the table.  This will be a fun class to start off the morning, and since there is no right or wrong opinion there's pretty much nothing to screw up.  The teacher seems like a hoot too.  He's definitely a hippy,  open minded, and I think he's gonna be the type to stir the pot as much as possible.  I should be able to have fun with the little kids in this one.

Next up is biology.  I just got a 98 in microbiology so it'll be pretty sad if I don't do the same in this one.  I think this teacher is gonna be a bit boring, and it's a huuuuge class so discussions are pretty much out.  I'm really hoping the lab is a much smaller group so it's easier to get down and do stuff.

I end my day with literature.  I don't know why but in my experience ALMOST all english teachers are a bit stuck up.  We got lectured on how she expects emails to be formatted or she won't answer them, the papers have to be damn near perfect, not the content just the format and grammar (not that this was unexpected), and a very long lecture about how she was to be addressed as Dr. or Professor.  No doc, no prof, and a hey you pretty much buys you an F.  In my previous college career and even in high school I've felt like english teachers have always had a stick up their ass, except for 2 that I've had that were absolutely amazing.  Oh, and if you noticed that I'm not capitalizing english it's because one of my high school teachers may be reading this...She was one of the amazing ones of course!  On the plus side, I like our reading list.  I could do without the Shakespeare, and we have 2 of those, but they're fairly short and in my opinion 2 of his more entertaining stories.  Othello and A Midsummer's Night Dream.  The Inferno, Canterbury Tales, and an old favorite The Odessey.  I've read all of them at some point in the past, but long enough ago that it'll be fun to read them again.  Also, despite the teacher being a bit uppity about her title, she seems genuinely excited about the books we're reading.  This is very good news to me because a boring teacher leads to a boring class.

Tomorrow is my first day volunteering at St Joseph without a guide, bit nervous about that but hey, at least they can't fire me.  I'll find out what to expect from my Judaism class next Tuesday, but I don't expect it to be too daunting.

Shellykins Apricot Surprise

I like to cook.  A lot.  I like having bbq's, small dinners with friends, or just trying out something new for Denise and I.  Unlike most people that like to cook I don't watch the food network, I don't own a recipe book, and I rarely try to recreate something that someone else has done because...well if I want to eat that I'll just go there.  A few weeks ago I came up with a new recipe during a particularly boring microbiology lecture, and last night I finally got a chance to try it.  It was certainly different, and turned out amazing.  I think 4 plates with nothing but a couple shreds of carrot and bones is a good indication that my test subjects agreed with me.

Smoked apricot vinegarette over grilled chops, salad, fried potatoes and carrots

Smoked apricot vinegarette:
This is what made the dish.  The rest of the stuff was very simple, and could pretty much be changed out with whatever vegetables you like.  The sauce may work on chicken as well, but i think it's suited best for chops.

1lb apricots, cut in half and pitted, then smoked over low heat.  I simply put a small pile of charcoal on one side of the grill, then topped it with some pecan chunks and put the apricots as far from the heat as possible.  The idea here isn't to cook them, just get them stuffed with delicious smokey flavor.

While those are smoking, in a sauce pan, boil:
3c water
1/4c sugar
1/4c brown sugar
1/4c honey
1/4c rice wine vinegar or apple cider vinegar
1/2 tsp cloves
4 quarter sized medallions of ginger

Let this all reduce down until about a cup of the water is gone, fish out the cloves and ginger.  At this point it will be almost unbearably sweet, that's ok.  Grab the fruit off the grill and chop it up.  You could puree it but at this point it's almost mush anyways so why dirty the extra dishes.  Just running a knife through it a couple times was plenty.  Add the apricots to the sugar and let it simmer for about 15 minutes then taste it.  If it's still too sweet you can add some more vinegar to mellow it out some.  Don't be afraid to leave it a little sweet though, it will be diluted down more when it's poured over the food.  At this point, the sauce is done, let it sit over very low heat until you're ready to serve it, the time spent sitting there will just server to let the smoke flavor disperse evenly thoughout.

Potatoes and Carrots
I used 1 lb of yukon gold potatoes, quartered, then blanched for about 5 minutes.

Spread the potatoes out on a cookie sheet or something and set them aside for about 30 minutes to let most of the moisture out, this will allow them to crisp up more later.

In a screaming hot wok i melted a stick of butter, threw 1/2 lb of baby carrots and let them get started

3 cloves of garlic finely chopped go in

Add in the potatoes, salt and pepper to taste and cook until the carrots are done and you get some delicious crispy bits on the potatoes.

Grilled Pork Chops:
This was the easiest part, just used  a simple rub of salt, thyme, and rosemary.  Toss them on the grill and cook until done.

Once cooked put the chops on a bed of lettuce, add whatever salad vegetables you like.  I went with red leaf lettuce, shredded carrots, and red onion.

Finally, top the chops and salad with the vinegarette.  For finishing touches I topped the salad with walnuts, which balanced perfectly with the sweet dressing.  For the chops a hefty pinch of french fried shallots.

When it was all said and done, I think the flavors all worked great together.  The only changes i would make would clean up the presentation a bit.  I would change the red leaf lettuce to a brighter green lettuce, and in place of the carrots and potatoes i would maybe substitute a basil parmesan broccoli, or grilled zucchini.  The reason for these changes would be to get more color variety on the plate.  The chops are brown, the sauce is brown/orange, orange carrots, and the dark red leaf lettuce made everything kind of run together visually.

American Pie

I can still remember, how that music used to make me smile.  For the 2 or 3 people that might still read this, I'm sure you've noticed I like to attach songs to these posts.  Some are more relevant than others, sometimes a song just pops into my head while I'm writing so in it goes.  Like many people music has always been important in my life, and I'm one of those people that has songs attached to different events throughout my life.  Dixieland delight comes on, boom I'm driving down the back roads in Nashua with Sara and Sarah in highschool.  Mama Told Me Not to Come, cruising down Antioch road in my dads old work truck.  I can't get two notes into I Believe In  A Thing Called Love by The Darkness without laughing about how a faulty cd kept this from being the song played as Denise and I walked out of the church after our wedding, and likely saved my life.

Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more step.  So I've had a couple rough years.  Well, obviously not just me, but this is my blog so we're talking about my problems.  Deal with it.  Scattered employment, money issues, Denise's health problems, the general stress of living through a recession, and going back to school, I've got a lot of reasons to get a little wound up from time to time.  Whenever it happens though music still works.  Whether it's Frankie Valli or Threes Days Grace, my choice in songs may fluctuate but the result never does.  It has a calming effect that can be very hard to find anywhere else.  Denise likes to yell at me about having it up too loud, fortunately I have good speakers on my computer so I can just turn it up a bit more so I don't hear her.

The day the music died.  Denise and I share some tastes in music, but not a whole lot.  On top of that, she's a tv watcher, music is something to pass time in the car for her.  So, there are a lot of days in our house that the music and tv volumes have to compete with each other.  Did I mention I have really good speakers on my computer?  A while back we did find an unexpected musical connection.   A song that we both loved.  She was watching a documentary on Celine Dion and I was singing along to "It's All Coming Back To Me Now". She asked what I was doing singing a Celine song, and I said "I don't know, what's Celine doing singing a Meat Loaf song?".  She didn't believe me, a couple minutes later I had Meat Loaf on the computer singing it.  Up until whenever she reads this, I've had her convinced that Celine did the remake.  The truth is however, the song was originally written for Meat Loafs BAT OUT OF HELL II album, but the writer felt it was a song better suited for a female vocalist, and it ended up going to Celine first. The funny part is though, that ever since finding out Meat Loaf recorded the song she doesn't like it anymore, even though it was one of her favorite songs before hand.

Done, done, and I'm on to the next one

Just got home from my last final for the summer, I think I might have missed one this time.  I locked up a 99% in my nutrition class yesterday, and either a 97% or 98% in microbiology today depending on that one question.  This means unless something goes completely haywire I get my scholarships for Avila, which is a good thing because I couldn't have paid for it without them.  I still won't know for sure for about 2 more weeks, after my official transcripts are available.

Looking over my grades it has amazed me at how much difference interest and motivation can make in your performance.  So far since I've returned to school my lowest final grade has been this microbiology grade, and that is damn near perfect.  The first time I went to college my finishing GPA was 2.42.  I still don't like school any more than I did then, but I like the material I'm covering a lot more.  This makes it much easier to stay focused and participate in conversations which obviously leads to much improved learning.  My motivation to succeed is also much higher, for personal, and economic reasons.  This gives me the kick I need to drop what I'm doing to read a chapter, make a study guide, work on an outline, whatever needs to be done to prepare myself well ahead of time instead of last minute cramming.  It's the perfect 1-2 punch to go from a 2.42 to a 4.0 despite being out of school for so long.

Next week promises to be a bit of a shock to the system.  So far at NAU about half of the students have been my age or older, and classes are set up to work for adults.  Starting Wednesday at Avila I'm jumping back into a traditional college schedule, and will be surrounded by teenagers.  Even worse....mostly teenage girls.  I hate teenage girls, they're such a pain in the ass.  The course load should be easy enough, and my schedule will allow for lots of library time in between classes to complete most of the homework while I'm there, but still...teenage girls.  Bleh.  At least I have 2 years of wearing bright purple scrubs to look forward too.  /facepalm.

So, in honor of finals week being done and the new semester starting in 5 days!

Carnac the Magnificent says?! A season, a reason, and laying back easin.

The season is summer...obviously...but for me it's summer finals week.  While finals week is really nothing special, hell I have at least 6 more of them to go through after this, this one is a little more important than most.  As I've mentioned before I'm in line for some pretty huge scholarships if I get all A's this summer.  So far so good, I think.  In microbiology I'm set, with everything to date tallied I only need a 66 on my final to lock up an A.  Considering I've only missed a total of 3 questions on the 6 tests and midterm, I'm confident that I'm good there.  The class that should have been the easier of my 2 however, I'm still a little uncertain about.  I have all A's on the tests, and the final is open book, so I think I'm fine.  My uncertainty is due to the fact that we've hardly accumulated any points in this class.  40% of our grade is a single project, which I believe I did very well, but I still haven't seen the grade.  With so few points in the class a pretty minor mistake can drop you to a B though.  I guess it doesn't really matter now since I've already committed to Avila, scholarships or not.

The reason I chose nursing?  I can't say it's simple, it took over a year to decide.  I could have gone back into electronics/computers, not all that interesting to me but it's steady.  I could have stayed in construction, it's unreliable but pays well enough, plus I'm good at it.  Nursing though has many of the benefits each of the fields have, and it brings a few of its own.  The simple truth is though, despite all my yelling, cussing, crude jokes, and intimidating drunks in bars for fun, I really like to help people.  Over the last few years my wife, Denise, has had more than her fair share of medical problems.  As bad as they have been, it did introduce me to a new working environment where people actually work together, enjoy their jobs, and don't threaten to stab each other in the neck on a regular basis.  It carries the same job satisfaction as I got from building things in the form of helping to cure people.  It has a job security that is second to none.  When I look up and down the list of pros and cons it's amazing how unbalanced it is for me.  Of course, the first things my friends usually bring up is "OH MY GAWD YOU'LL HAVE TO CHANGE DIAPERS!!".  To which i simply respond, "It's ok, I've been dealing with you assholes for years, I'm used to it.".

And finally, laying back easin'.  School has already done a number on my hobbies, and so far I've had a very favorable schedule.  With a more rigorous schedule starting in two weeks, and hopefully a job starting soon I'm kind of dreading the complete lack of free time.  All of my favorite hobbies require scheduling with other people, or are only available on certain days.  I'd love to pick up a kayak and some fishing gear so I could have a spur of the moment hobby, but without a job that's out of the question.  Maybe a new video game will come out that catches my interest, who knows.  Luckily though I have about 2 weeks to sit back and relax,  I see a lot of bbq in my future.

Money for Nothin'

Today I officially made the leap to transfer schools this fall.  I'm confident enough in holding my grades that I feel my scholarships for Avila are secured, so I cancelled my fall classes for National American.  The process was a little drawn out, and it all boiled down to "how can we keep you paying us?".  While I've had a decent enough time at this school, it got me to thinking about the differences between a traditional 4 year private school and a for profit.

With University of Phoenix being the largest college in the world, a lot of attention has been given lately to the quality of these for profit schools.  I enrolled in one out of convenience, so I could start getting classes finished while waiting to get accepted to a better school.  I did however do some research before I started.  The first thing I did is check their accreditations, and called some of the local private schools to verify that all credits would transfer.  I also searched online for reviews and opinions.  Here's where I hit a giant cluster of bad, wrong, or poorly represented information.  Overall the reviews and opinions were pretty decent, including those of people who claimed to be employers.  In the most scathing reviews I noticed a trend that caused me to quickly discount them.  Most of the horrible reviews were written by disgruntled former students who had difficulty finding a job, I get that.  Most of these reviews were also written by people who couldn't complete a sentence with anything resembling logic as well.  In my opinion, the trouble you're having getting a job is more likely related to the fact that you didn't pay attention while you were in school and that is obvious to interviewers, not that the school wasn't good enough.

So far in my experience, NAU has been a good school.  The curriculum is comparable, the teachers knowledgeable, and the teachers seem to genuinely care about your success.  I believe more of the bad reputation these schools get is from the quality of students they attract, not the quality of education they provide.  Basically, you get out of it what you put into it.

There is one thing noticeably missing from this school that you will find in a private school though, an excellent support structure.  Counselors, tutors, huge libraries, and more accessible teachers all lend a tremendous amount of support to students that need it.  Unfortunately, the kids that flock to the for profit schools are the ones that need this support the most.  This leads to perhaps the biggest support structure of all, the other students.  If you are at a school where you aren't confident in your fellow classmates it is very difficult to get help from the one group that is doing the same thing that you are.

The counselors at NAU are where I've seen the biggest problem.  They spend most of their time on financial aid issues and seem to only take an academic interest when it means keeping a students grades just high enough to keep attending.  I've tried working with mine a few times and have concluded that his "academic adviser" title is nothing more than a shiny plate on his door.  Interestingly enough though, the guy who enrolled me in classes and is basically in a salesman position has routinely checked in to see how classes were going, asked for feedback about the school in general, and has presented changes to the admins based on my feedback.

Overall, I think the for profit route isn't all bad.  If a traditional program doesn't fit your schedule these programs are excellent.  The largest pitfall is the amount of responsibility that falls on you as the student.  At any college you're responsible for your work, but at least with the private option you get an exceptional support network to help you through.  If you are able to take your pick of schools though, go with the private school.  The quality of education, support, and the overall "college experience" is well worth it.

Hooray for cancer!

Wait...what?

Doing my micro homework this morning and came across an interesting bit of reading about some genetically engineered antibodies scientists have figured out.  Well, the antibodies are boring, the production technique is what is interesting.

The over simplified rundown is this, cancer forms because cells mutate, losing their natural "lifespan" genes that cause them to die off after dividing a certain number of times.  Scientists are taking advantage of this by creating cells designed to produce a certain antibody, combining them with cancer cells in a lab, and making little tiny antibody factories that will keep dividing and producing the antibody without ever dying.  I think finding a way to make such a devastating disease work for us is a great testament to the ingenuity of man.

Now if we could only find a way to make stupid work for the good of humanity instead of just making more Adam Sandler movies...

The beginning of the end, of the...beginning?

So, with my microbiology teacher going awol next week I only have 2 class sessions left before the end of the summer semester.  Well 5 if you include my other class, but who would do a thing like that?  See, the other class has been fun, the teacher is laid back, and tries to help his students.  It's really a fun class to go to, so I tend not to do the countdown for that one.

The micro teacher on the other hand...well...mama always said if you don't have something nice to say then don't say anything.  I didn't listen to her back then either.  This class has been a nightmare.  Losing points for putting a slash through a zero.  Losing points for going to the bathroom and missing part of an "important" announcement.  Getting a 0 on an essay because she felt you should have added the word contamination in front of the word site (even though it wasn't labeled that way in the instructions).  It hasn't even been that she's just extremely picky and doesn't allow any mistakes, because she does.  She grades more on idiosyncrasies and pet peeves than content.

This was a big deal to me earlier in the semester as I was barely holding onto an A, because starting this fall all A's in my summer classes gets me $9,000 a year in scholarships and grants for the next 3 years.  Fortunately I was able to figure out her system for the most part and have all but secured my grade as we wind down, but that still doesn't excuse her bad grading.

Back on topic!  So yes I'm winding down my 2 semester stint at NAU and since I've managed to keep perfect grades, excluding a meltdown over the next 3 weeks, I will be moving to Avila University in August to finish my prereqs and hopefully attend nursing school.  Avila is a top notch school with a reputation for nursing that is second to none.  In fact, they were the first nursing school in Kansas City.  It's exciting because when I started this change I assumed it would happen at a community college or a for profit joint, but now I'm getting the chance to make it happen at one of the best schools in the region.

The next big step in the education process is getting accepted to a nursing school.  My grades the first time around college were pretty bad, so that may come back to bite me.  I do have a few things going for me though.  All A's now, I completed my Certified Nurses Assistant training this summer, and I start volunteering in the ER at St. Joseph hospital sometime in the next 2 weeks.  I'm hoping for Avila, the wife is hoping for Rockhurst, I may end up back at NAU.  It's gonna happen somewhere though.  Don't stop me now!

Who I are.

I find it's generally best to start at the beginning, jump to a little later in the story, get close to the end, then remember something that you forgot to tell, get a little sidetracked, repeat yourself a few times at the good parts, and see where that gets you.  Who needs order when chaos and confusion are so much more fun and convenient.

So who am I?   My name is Eddie, I'm an early 30's student who is in the process of moving from one world to another.  Obviously I'm not moving to Mars...although that would be pretty awesome.  I'm not moving to Atlantis...although I bet the seafood is delicious.  It's more of a trip through the looking glass.  I'm going from a man's world to a woman's world.

I was born and raised a construction worker, in a family of male domination, testosterone, blood, sweat and...suck it up there's no crying here.   Now that's not to say that the women in my family weren't respected, or were mistreated, because they weren't.  My family is just a bit of a relic from a time where men bought the bacon, and women cooked it.  Mmmm bacon.  

Through a recent series of events (I'll talk about those later, that's why I'm writing this after all), I have decided to make the change to the female dominated world of nursing.  This wasn't an overnight decision, in fact it took over a year for me to make that leap.

My goal for this blog is 3 years.  That's how long I will be in school.  You'll get to read about school, my search for a CNA job, the reactions people have to "someone like me" entering this field.  You'll probably get to read some about my mentally challenged dog and my delicious cooking too.

So please secure all loose items and keep your hands inside the ride at all times...next post : The end.  Or somewhere in the middle, unless i get sidetracked.