Pretty much everyone has had a loved one in the hospital at some point. It's tiring, stressful, and sometimes downright scary. You want to make sure your person is being treated properly, comfortable, safe, and just getting the best care possible. Working with patients I've learned that a persons family can be your best friend or your worst enemy, so here's a handy dandy list of dos and don'ts the next time you're visiting someone in the hospital.
Sometimes it's ok to interfere. Hell, sometimes it's the best thing you can do. As it turns out, doctors and nurses are human. Sometimes they make mistakes. They might miss a symptom completely, misread one, attribute one problem to the wrong disease, a lot can happen. There's also the fact that diseases don't always like to cooperate. Virus 1 may have symptom A, virus 2 has symptom B, and virus 3 has both. Sneaky bastard. And if this wasn't enough, our own bodies are kind of assholes too. We misrepresent signs, reject treatments, have allergies, reactions, and just generally muck up the whole process.
With so many things that can go wrong, it's great to have an extra set of eyes helping out. Here's a few things that families can do that really....REALLY...help.
Watch for signs and symptoms all the time. A tremor in the hand that's never been there, slurred speech, failing memory, loss of balance, anything really. Sure if these problems get bad enough any one will see them, but you know this person the best so you're in the best position to catch them early.
Fill in gaps in medical history. When someone is sick they may forget something, either a medication, an allergy, past visit, whatever it happens. Another thing that happens is, people lie. They think they'll get some extra drugs, avoid trouble, or outsmart the doctors. What they really do is undermine the whole healing process, increase their time in the hospital, and often times cause more damage. You can help by stepping in and filling these holes.
Get your hands dirty. Take an active part in the care. Sure, wiping a butt may not be how you intended to spend your night, but almost every patient I've had would prefer help from family if given the choice. When it comes to the more embarrassing things, such as bathing or toileting, having a complete stranger help can be added stress the patient just doesn't need.
Address problems that you see. If you think someone isn't doing their job, talk to someone. Let me repeat that, TALK to someone. Don't start screaming and yelling and threatening to sue without knowing what's going on. Odds are, the person was doing exactly what they were supposed to. There is the chance though that you just got a crappy nurse/tech/doctor. Find who is the next person up and politely bring it up, trust me, if someone was actually doing something wrong it will be fixed. The hospitals have too much money on the line to cover for a bad employee.
Unfortunately, I witness the wrong way to do things much more often than the right way. Some of these things are somewhat understandable, some are just not thinking it through, and some are full retard.
Don't bring in food. At least not without clearing it with a nurse. Yeah hospital food isn't the best, but most patients are on a very specific diet for a reason. Nurses don't limit the types of food because they think it's funny, and if your person doesn't have any restrictions everyone is more than happy for you to bring in that bucket of extra crispy.
Don't cause stress. This one can be hard. It's best not to cry in front of the patient, or (unintentionally) seeking comfort from them. On the easy side, don't talk about not having money for bills, the ex girlfriend, don't finish the fight you had last week, just let it go for a few days. Stress is a real medical issue. It affects your immune system, causes you to stay sick longer, and affects wound healing. Being in the hospital is stressful, stress keeps you in the hospital...doh!
Don't sneak in drugs. It's amazing how common this is. He needs his <insert drug here>! If you won't give it to him I will! So you come to the hospital for their medical expertise, then you won't listen to it when they give it. Usually when this happens, the patient is already getting the drug under a different name. Sometimes it was discontinued because it will have a negative interaction with a new medicine. This is one of the most blatantly idiotic things I've seen. You can cause an overdose, a bad reaction, slow the healing process, and quite possibly kill them. Good job, see what you did.
Don't assume the patient is telling you the truth. Especially when that person is on mind altering drugs, or has a disease that affects cognition, or when you know that they're a big fat liar. The doctors and nurses aren't going to lie about a treatment. They can't, every little thing they do is documented. I've seen patients lie about every aspect of treatment, get their families mad at the staff, and no one in the family takes a second to think the situation through.
And this last one is for certain patients, well their families should listen too. If you came to the hospital because you couldn't take care of yourself, such as a diabetic plowing through a dozen ice cream and butter donuts, don't give your advice. You can't tell the staff what's best for you, because you don't have a clue. If you do have a clue and just choose to ignore it, then you're just there long enough to get stabilized so you can go home and screw up again. Either way it's fastest if you just let us do our job for a few days.
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